Dose for 7th Apr,2006

A blonde was summoned to court to appear as a witness in a  
lawsuit. The prosecutor opened his questioning with, "Where  
were you the night of August 24th?"  

"Objection!" said the defense attorney. "Irrelevant!"  

"Oh, that's okay," said the blonde from the witness stand.  
"I don't mind answering the question."  

"I object!" the defense said again.  

"No, really," said the blonde. "I'll answer."  

The judge ruled: "If the witness insists on answering, there  
is no reason for the defense to object."  

So the prosecutor repeated the question: "Where were you the  
night of August 24th?"  

The blonde replied brightly, "I don't know!"  

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A recent widow was crying to a grief counselor. "We were  
married twenty-five years before he died," she said,  
dabbing away a tear. "Never had an argument in all those  
years."  

"Amazing," said the councelor. "How did you do it?"  

"I outweighed him by forty pounds and he was a coward." 

 

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In America the late night news used to broadcast this message:  
"It's 11 o'clock do you know where your children are?"  

In England they say, "It's 11 o'clock do you know where your  
wife is?"  

In France they say, "It's 11o'clock do you know where your  
husband is?"  

In Poland they say, "It's 11 o'clock do you know what  
time it is?"  

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Five Jewish men who influenced the history of Western  
civilization.  

Moses said the law is everything.  
Jesus said love is everything.  
Marx said capital is everything.  
Freud said sex is everything.  
Einstein said everything is relative.  

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Q: Why do surgeons wear facemasks?  

A: So if they make a mistake, no one will know who did it.  

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